Little Miss Throat Slit
The newest day in the Weirdest Timeline sees Ubisoft’s stealth seriesAssassin’s Creedcross over with Roger Hargreaves’ 1970s children’s book series,Mr. Men.As spotted by Rock, Paper, Shotgun, the two brands are collaborating for a range of six titles based on the time-hopping mass-murder franchise.
“By mixing theAssassin’s Creedsense of adventure and history with the colorful and delightful designs of theLittle Mr. Men, these books will appeal to both young and adult readers,”said Ubisoft in the announcement.“Follow Mister Ezio, Little Miss Kassandra, and Little Miss Eivor, as they each try to complete their own missions in the first three books of this series!”
Mister Ezio! He’s a killer! ButMr. Menis a cutesy thing for kids! Much Random!
Of course, this range is not strictly intended for kids, and is part of a tongue-in-cheek range ofMr. Menbooks written “For Grown-Ups.” Previous titles in this series have featured characters from franchises such as sci-fi seriesDoctor Who, or have themes such as “Little Miss Shy Goes Online Dating,” or “Mr. Grumpy Nails Fatherhood.” TheMr. Men and Little Missfranchise is actually owned today byHello Kitty‘s Sanrio, although the son of creator Roger Hargreaves, Adam, still writes and illustrates the books.
Now, before anyone thinks I’m getting all “MUH CHILDHOOD!” about this, I’m really not. These books exist for the folk that want to buy them, and that’s fine. I just think it’s tacky, personally. I liken the concept to the sort of brand collision that led to the over-saturation of those dreadful Funko POP! figurines, or those “crappy-on-purpose” action figures that roll out for $30. But I’m not judging, do what you want with your hard-earned dollarydoos.
Now I’m just picturing an Ubi suit in a boardroom bellowing “LITTLE MISS WON’T SELL!”
