Nintendo is good at two things: Marketing itself to non-gamers, and patronizing thehellout of proper gamers. Corporate Affairs VP Denise Kaigler is towing the corporate line perfectly, confessing that Nintendo can’t please the core gamer, but that’ssimply super duper!

“I will give you that hardcore gamers have an insatiable appetite for everything Nintendo,” she admits, “and we love that! We love that. When we get to a point where core gamers say, ‘OK, Nintendo, enough! We don’t need any more games from you guys …’ None of us wants to be put in that position, right?

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“We don’t want your appetite to ever be satisfied, because when we satisfy you, it’s time for us to go [dusts off hands], ‘OK! Let’s go on home now!’ And none of us wants to go home. So there’s this sort of fun … relationship, I think, that’s happening between Nintendo and the hardcore gamer — which we enjoy and hope that the core gamer enjoys it.”

I have got to admit, that is someseriouslyimpressive spin. Quite why Nintendo’s executives never went into politics, I do not know. Nintendo can’t and won’t ever truly appeal to us again, because it keeps ourfun relationshipgoing. Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen. I’m pretty sure that’s how Chris Brown got started.

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